pinkofcondition's Journal

4:40pm: blood drive
So it took me all day to get up the courage to donate blood today, cuz I HATE needles...

At the end of French, Anne and I went down to the gym and signed up and everything, read the paperwork, got our stickers...and I waited for 45 minutes to be called over for the screening, during which time I saw two people faint and start twitching on the floor. Not encouraging, when you're scared out of your mind already.

So I'm doing the screening, basic info stuff, and then the guy (Squire Knight) pricks my finger to do the testing.

I HAVE LOW IRON BY ONE FREAKING PERCENT! 1%!!!!!!!!!!

So after all that, I couldn't give blood, and now Mr. Borden's mad at me also, for missing band. Grrrrr.

Anne waited a while longer and got through the screening successfully, but then they couldn't find her veins and she ultimately failed too...after missing all of band and half of select, so she's got 2 music guys mad at her. We think we're going for coffee tonight...we've earned it.

2:50pm: So...a lot of stuff has happened since the last time I updated, most of which doesn't bear repeating. The play was awesome...thanks to cast and crew for a wonderful time!

Anyway, I'm suddenly in the mood to blog, and I think it's because of this past weekend. Friday, I went shopping and to Olive Garden with a few of my girls, which cost me a lot of money but was totally worth it. I bought 4 shirts, a skirt, and a pair of shoes, plus lunch and coffee of course...and it could have done a lot more damage to my bank account than it did. Then I was an hour late getting to Mike's to work on our Gov project, which I am infinitely sorry for...I'm glad that par of the weekend is over, because I was really upset and embarassed and so were many of the people involved. Not my greatest hour. Despite that incident, we finished our powerpoint with none too little laughter and good times, ate dinner (the Radis are awesome), and watched the Arsenic and Old Lace tape that Mr. Radi made. Grood times. We made up a few songs that we'll never remember, and performed some old favorites (many of you know what I'm talking about) that we'll never forget. Not to mention some massages...all of them very much needed.

Saturday, on the other hand, was awesome. It probably won't even seem all that cool to other people, but for me it was amazing. I went to a wedding with Jarred in Williamson, which was just lovely. I felt a little out of place at the wedding and the reception, but I knew I looked cute, so that mostly made up for it (I was wearing some of those new clothes...it's a great feeling). After the reception we went back to Jarred's house for a while and just hung out, ate dinner, etc., and then the real fun started. At 11, we went midnight bowling with the newlyweds and a bunch of their friends...HOT TIME! I was more totally myself than I usually am, because I knew they didn't care, and it was just wicked fun. I was disappointed that I couldn't go to the Cornell game with Mike and Anne and Chels, but if I had to be somewhere else, midnight bowling was a good place to be...it's the most fun Jarred and I have ever had together. I think it was that that really made my weekend, because I just felt so close to him and there was so much adrenaline and general good will going around...it was cool to be around people I didn't know and still be completely free of all inhibitions. Definitely a valuable bonding experience!!!

Sunday, I worked and then we met up with Jarred in Pittsford to give him teh fog machine for A Christmas Carol, we got coffee at Starbucks, and then I met Mike and Mom to usher at Pittsford Musicals for Fiddler on the Roof. We had fun, and the show was very well done, if long and sleep-inducing because Mike and I were both so tired from our various activities of the previous day. Afterward, Mom and I came home long enough to change, we went to Tully's for dinner, went to Greece to drop off my typing, and I came back to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and do homework...which, incidentally, still isn't entirely done.

The weekend definitely made my week! I'm still chipper from it...I just hope it lasts through until at least Thursday!

6:15pm: it's been a while...
So as predicted, I'm terrible at keeping up with this thing. Honestly, I haven't had a lot to tell you all about...North Carolina was fine, Michigan was more trouble than it was worth but it was fine anyway...and I wish school wasn't back in session already. It seems like just as my summer started getting really good, I was leaving the people that made it good to go on vacation, and then going back to school. So, let me just say that this summer was incredible...literally beyond words. Those of you who contributed to that...I think you mostly know who you are. I've never been happier in my life than I am right now, and it's because I have so many spectacular friends and other acquaintances...I FLOVE YOU GUYS!

As far as school...I still feel like a junior. It's weird to not have all of last year's graduates...cuz now all the people coming at me in the hall are small, if not in stature, at least in...um...I dunno, other bigness. Think Arthur Miller in his silly tragedy essay...he said something about size. Whatever.

So yeah...

7:47pm: All these mixed emotions we keep locked away like stolen pearls...
Yesterday was beautiful. In every way...it's really indescribable. Yesterday took me from my unattainable ideals to reality...and they were one in the same. So much happened to me that I thought never would...in one day. I can't put it into words, so I don't think I'll try.

On the other hand, this is the beginning of a hellish 10 days. That's right...10 days with two younger boys, my mother, AND my grandmother. It sucks...I'm going to miss civilization (my people) so much. Also...it's not likely that I'll have much internet access, so this is probably my last entry for at least 10 days. After I get home...I'll pick and choose what to update you on publicly out of the journal I am likely to keep there about how much it sucks, among other things. Anyway...all of you have a beautiful week. I may be calling some of you, if I'm lucky and get away from the family without getting in trouble. Otherwise, I'll only see a few of you before school (and those of you going to college, good luck!) so I'll talk to y'all about schedules when I get back! (If I don't have lunch with you all, I WILL DIE!)

Toodles!

9:19am: I've been tagged by Karyn to list 10 things that make me happy on a regular basis...and since I can't begin to think and write something more in depth this early in the morning, and after a day like yesterday, I'm going to do the list now.

1. Full days/nights/movie nights spent with any or all of my friends or other favorite people...you all know who you are
2. Chatting online in EVERY spare moment
3. Long, late phone calls on school nights, as long as they're happy
4. My lovely iPod, which is considerably fuller now
5. Shopping...sorry, I can't help it
6. Two Cows...the coffee, the atmosphere, the memories, and future visits
7. Musical theatre in all its never-ending glory
8. The smell of rain
9. Singing like no one is listening
10. Really good massages

A few months ago, I'm not sure I would've been able to make that list...I'm glad I was tagged, cuz it made me think about the finer things in life. So...I'm tagging Anne, Allison, MK, Mike, and...Emma. Go to it!

12:36am: WHAT was that.

Yes, ITW is still my #1 quote source.

And btw, I realized earlier that I really like Savage Garden's lyrics...

Anytime I need to see your face
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
Your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola

I don’t need to try and explain
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
So slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to I want to

Come stand a little bit closer
Breath in and get a bit higher
You’ll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Chorus

Ooh I want you
I don’t know if I need you
But ooh I’d die to find out
Ooh I want you
I don’t know if I need you
But ooh I’d die to find out

I’m the kind of person who endorses
A deep commitment
Getting comfy getting perfect
Is what I live for
But a look then a smell of perfume
It’s like I’m down on the floor
And I don’t know what I’m in for

Conversation has a time and place
In the interaction of a lover and
A mate
But the time of talking
Using symbols using words
Can be likened to a deep sea diver
Who is swimming with a raincoat

Come stand a little bit closer
Breathe in and get a bit higher
You’ll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Chorus

Anytime I need to see your face
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
Your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
In the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola

I don’t need to try and explain
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
So slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
Of the human cannonball
That I need to I want to

Chorus

So can we find out

And 3eb impressed me the other day, too...

5:36pm:

Your Taste in Music:

80's Rock: High Influence

90's Rock: High Influence

Adult Alternative: High Influence

Alternative Rock: High Influence

Classic Rock: High Influence

80's Alternative: Medium Influence

90's Pop: Medium Influence

80's Pop: Low Influence

80's R&B: Low Influence

90's Alternative: Low Influence

Country: Low Influence

Progressive Rock: Low Influence

R&B: Low Influence

10:02am: That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. And it really isn't that I wanted to...I had to. Thank you, Tim, for being understanding, and I hope we can get and stay close. Thank you everyone else (Jarred, Ricky, Anne, Mike, Mike, Chris, MK, Jon, etc.) for helping...I needed it.

4:21pm: i have no life

Your True Birth Month Is March

Moody Secretive Revengeful Trustworthy Affectionate Loves traveling Loves attention Shy and reserved Musically talented Loves home decor Not easily angered Sensitive to others Loves special things Attractive personality Loves to serve others Loves peace and serenity Observant and assess others Loves to dream and fantasize Appreciative and returns kindness Hasty decisions in choosing partners Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic

I think that's kinda creepy...it's so true

You Are the Individualist

4 You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

Your SAT Score of 1380 Means:

You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush You Scored Higher Than Al Gore You Scored the Same as David Duchovny You Scored Lower Than Natalie Portman You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates

Your IQ is most likely in the 130-140 range

Equivalent ACT score: 31

Schools that Fit Your SAT Score: Brown University Northwestern University Carnegie Mellon University Cornell University Reed College

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

3:18pm:

STEPHANIE
S	is for	Saucy
T	is for	Thrilling
E	is for	Entertaining
P	is for	Peachy
H	is for	Handy
A	is for	Articulate
N	is for	Naive
I	is for	Intense
E	is for	Easy

You are

Your Mood Ring is Blue-Green

Inner emotions charged Yet, somewhat relaxed

Your Stripper Name is: Mystique

11:49am: I'm feeling better now that I'm, like, showered...and now that I realize that I don't have to see *some people* ever again if I don't want to, and especially if we don't do a specific show next summer...I love the whole group at Stages, and I'm going to miss everyone a lot. I made a mistake last night...not a big one, to me, but socially it was pretty bad...and I regret it. I hope and pray that people aren't judging me on that...if anything, please judge me on the month or so you've been around me, not the cast party. I'm not about to use exhaustion or anything dumb as an excuse...but if you're going to judge me negatively, at least have a better basis for your verdict than one silly party.

I have a lot to figure out right now...and it keeps building up rather than dissipating. But aside from a few minor incidences, Into the Woods was an awesome and definitely more than worthwhile experience...I'm glad I spent my summer at Stages. I've met so many great people, and it's helped me to break out of my dependency on people here at home. (Let's hope that lasts.)

I LOVE YOU ALL!

10:27am: Nothing seems right. It's strange...it's like I have to guard what I say more closely than I've ever had to before...no wonder I'm afraid of offending people. I say everything all wrong. I can't give compliments, because I always say something that comes out negatively, without meaning to or without meaning it as a negative...I really should just shut up. So if I don't say anything to anyone after the show tonight...it's because I'm afraid of screwing up. I don't want to ruin friendships by trying to give people compliments and failing because I'm inept...so I'm done.

I hate this...I hate myself for being so stupid. In fact...I feel like I've just committed a major Nick Demarco-ism...FUCK.

10:56am: Sometimes the things you most wish for...are not to be touched.

Well, for me that "sometimes" is an "always," dammit.

11:38pm: w t *uck

I just lost my entire entry. I'll try again.

Today started out fantastically...Olive Garden and Borders were so much fun, even though I probably gained eight pounds in the process...thank you guys for that.

Rehearsal, however, was the complete and polar opposite. It started out slow, but okay, and I thought it was going smoothly considering that this was the one and only dress rehearsal for Jon's cast. It made sense to me that everything was going slowly, since every change of costumes and sets had to be totally perfected tonight. So, although we didn't finish Act I until 9:30...I wasn't overly phased. How wrong I was.

Toward the end of Act I, I had been waiting around backstage for quite some time, while Mary Kate perfected her transformation, which was important for a final dress. I was holding things for people, fetching things for people, just generally being a good person and doing what was asked of me. I noticed Lindsay's pearl necklace on the floor, and picked it up so as to keep her out of trouble, and eventually discovered that it was broken. So, I went backstage and reclosed the jump ring, and it was fixed again...not a big deal. I tried to give it back to her, but she declined, saying that she didn't want to risk it. This was a little irritating, but reasonable, really, so I just took it back to the dressing room. After we got our Act I notes, during our break, I approached Lindsay to tell her what was wrong with the necklace, to imply that I fixed it, and all she said to me was "I know," like I really needed to mind my own damn business. I was trying to help...I had guessed it before, but it seems pretty clear now that she has some underlying problem with me. I don't know what it is, since the one time I did snap at her I apologized...I can't see what I've done to make her hate me so much. I also find it difficult to think of she and Christy as sisters...they're just so different. I guess it's true that the nice, generally helpful people just can't win...something which was proven again later.

We started Act II at 10...Lindsay had been crying during our break, but I duly minded my business and still have no clue why. I again hung out backstage, keeping cool and talking to other people that had very little to do, and actually having some very enlightening conversations. I was thoroughly enjoying getting to know people better. At one point, Mackenzie ran through, saying that her dress had ripped, but I thought little of it...after all, didn't Dan Mulligan rip his rented tux pants the first time he wore them? I thought that theatre people would understand that accidents happen. Meanwhile, I guess tech hadn't been going terribly smoothly, someone said not as well as last night, but I don't know since I was backstage. The next thing I knew, everyone was being herded off stage, saying we were done. We were nowhere close to done with the show...Mrs. Dewey had essentialy given up on the evening's rehearsal, and it seemed that Mackenzie's dress put her over the edge. As Jess said...if it was anyone's fault, it was those of us who had been stepping on it constantly, not hers...And again, she was nothing but helpful, eager and open all the time. She helped with set changes and whatever she could, and yet the night had ended in such a way that she felt at fault. A lot of things caused the ultimate end tonight...heat, limited resources, time constraints...but NOT INDIVIDUALS. The only thing I blame Mrs. Dewey for is making Mackenzie feel like the cause...that should never happen in an "ensemble show," or any show, for that matter. Otherwise...it's no one's fault.

I love this cast. Going into the show, I was wholly optimistic. It is the most talented cast I've ever been a part of, I like everyone involved, there's no cliques...we're a friendly group, and I haven't lost faith in any one of the cast members. Someone I talked to blamed tech for tonight...another thing I won't and can't do. They've been working their asses off just as we have, and they don't deserve to be blamed for this...even if it didn't go as smoothly as last night. There will always be a problem...that's just the way theatre works. I'm still thrilled to be a part of a cast that has worked so well together and grown so much in such a short time. There have been rough  spots...but aren't there always a few? And don't they make us stronger in the end? I'm going to play the obnoxious optimist for a moment; even though I know it's not my place, as it was not my cast that was so horribly let down tonight; and say that I still believe this will be an amazing production weekend. Mrs. Dewey's reaction was immature...even more so than most of my mother's reactions when we fight...but it's something we have to look at as a learning experience, and we can't blame ourselves. I love you all so much...and we need to stay tight to pull this off. I know we can do it.

"There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails. "

Richard Rybolt  (interpret that as you wish...I don't mean it negatively, but you can, by all means, use your own interpretation.)

11:37pm: Well, today started out good, but...rehearsal was less than lovely, since it was the first time with sound, lights, makeup, and costumes. And it was really hot, and I didn't have any water till act II...at least it's over, and I didn't get any notes.

And now...I'm thinking a lot about North Carolina. I don't know what to do...for those of you that know what I'm talking about, it's not like I won't be doing work there...cuz I will be. So you can too! I'm still going to try...I need this to work. More than anything...more than life, etc. Seriously. I've been looking forward to this for almost a year. I CAN'T PUT UP WITH TWO YOUNGER BOYS AND MY GRANDMOTHER AND NO FRIENDS FOR 10 DAYS!

Anyway, love you.

10:31pm: I'm so glad my Michael is home...! I didn't realize just how much I missed him until today...it's almost like when I first got close to him. It feels like we can be normal again now. It feels like...like life is just perfect again. Especially when compared with yesterday's eventfulness...and in spite of the fact that Michael is a pain in the ass, he is indeed a lovable one. I don't think I've ever been so happy and yet so sad at once...and I can't really explain why. But I know that I'm glad he's home.

11:20am: don't feel you need to do this...
1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

10:22pm: :D
I LOST IT! (Hint: check my mood and the following survey, copied from allison, to try and figure out what "IT" is)

BASICS

[Marital Status] I plan on it someday...
[Shoe size] 7.5 at Payless, 7.5-8 everywhere else
[Parents still together] yup
[Siblings] 1 little brother

FAVORITES
[Color] burgundy
[Number] 15
[Animal] dolphins and peacocks
[Drinks] iced irish creme lattes and hazelnut mochas
[Soda] barq's and creme soda
[Book] ummm let's say..."What Child is This?" b/c I read it every year.
[Flower] Lily of the valley, roses (the yellow ones are actually a little tainted now), and especially calla lilies

DO YOU
[Color your hair?] when the mood strikes me and I'm allowed to...yeah twice.
[Twirl your hair?] when I'm nervous or feeling stupid
[Have tattoos?] not yet...j/k
[Have Piercings?] 2 per ear...if I get more I'll be disowned
[Cheat on tests/homework?] I supposed I have on homework...but I've never even "checked my answers" on a test
[Like roller coasters?] YES as of last year...Darien Lake anyone?
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] sometimes...but I love Ho Falls too
[Want more piercings?] not really
[Like cleaning?] NEVER...but organizing is sometimes relaxing
[Write in cursive or print?] print...but it definitely flows together a lot
[Own a web cam?] nope, I think they're kinda dumb. I don't want people to see what I wear at my computer.
[Know how to drive?] kinda
[Own a cell phone?] kinda
[Ever get off the damn computer?] Um...negative.


HAVE YOU EVER
[Been in a fist fight?] only with Kevin...and that doesn't really count
[Considered a life of crime?] heh...this brings Sarah's pirating aspirations to mind.
[Considered being a pimp?] well, a prostitute...every day.
[Lied to someone?] yes...mostly just my mother, and Michael about his party
[been in love?] yes...oh yes.
[Made out with JUST a friend?] heh. heh. heh. that's funny.
[Been in lust?] undeniably...haven't we all?
[Used someone] not on purpose
[Been used?] yes
[Been cheated on?] haven't had the opportunity
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] well, yeah. but just once.
[Stolen anything?] probably when I was little and didn't know better. Or did, and didn't care.
[Held a gun?] of the water variety...

CURRENTS
[Current clothing] Dollhouse jeans (my fave), black leather belt, black tank, ITW t-shirt, black bead necklace, my black and white concert earrings, rhinestone studs, contacts, blue underwear, a bra, and OF COURSE my Claddagh
[Current mood] mellow and good and kinda tired...but still a little excited
[Current taste] nothing.
[What you currently smell like] my deodorant...but it smells pretty good
[Current hair] down, curly, but separated...and my head is itchy
[Current thing I ought to be doing] going to bed
[Last book you read] HP and the 1/2 Blood Prince / Freakonomics
[Last thing you ate] Italian sausage at the carnival...but the Snickers was better
[Last person you talked to on the phone] Mike (not my Mike)...at 5:30
[Do drugs?] I only get high off of life, boys, and spray glue
[Believe there is life on other planets?] I'd rather not think about it...I think it's creepy
[Remember your first love?] Like it never faded
[Still love him/her?] I always will
[Read the newspaper?] seldom...I like the Jumble though
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] YES...and I just happen to be in love with one of them...figuratively speaking
[Believe in miracles?] without them...I wouldn't have my best friends
[Do well in school?] yes, most of the time (eg when I don't have Englert)
[Wear hats] eh...not so much
[Hate yourself?] I used to...now I have only mild distaste, and only on occasion
[Have an obsession?] of course...but I'll leave that up to the imagination
[Collect anything?] dolls, thimbles, and recently frames...I have tons. And of course...clothing.
[Have a best friend?] yes...a couple, I think
[Close friends?] yes...I couldn't live without my gals...and the guys too ;)
[Like your handwriting?] when I take my time with it, it's pretty
[Care about looks] too much...but my own more than others'

LOVE LIFE
[First crush] Tom Fabretti...hah
[First kiss] unexpected...but as of today, finally present.
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] I'm undecided...
[Do you believe in "the one?"] I think so...but there may be two.
[Are you a tease?] ask Mike or Chris or Tim...they can tell you better than I
[Too shy to make the first move?] of course...but I've been forced to before. It never works.

ARE YOU A...
[Daydreamer] how else would I have survived middle school...and 11th grade?
[Bitch/Asshole] certain times of the month...sorry guys! I know not what I do!
[Sarcastic] hmmm...let me think about that one...no, I don't think so...(that was just oozing)
[Angel] the Anything Goes type...and the conscience type
[Devil] nope...that's Karyn :)
[Shy] usually...until I know people or start flirting with them
[Talkative] heh. funny. I think you all know the answer there.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:58pm: michael...
I'm sure we could hang out at my house on Monday night...IF I didn't have rehearsal. Which I do. But if we're back here before 5, then we can hang out here until then, at which point I have to go to Joe's house so he can take me to rehearsal.

I asked Mrs. Dewey if you can come to a dress rehearsal, and she said yes...so it'll be Wednesday night. I don't know exactly what time we'll start, probably not earlier than 7, but we have to be there at 6. K?

I'm so excited!!!!!!! (ps wanna pick me up to take me to James' party? I can get a ride home...but I feel bad making James come and pick me up. If you can great, if not, that's okay too. Hah! "I don't have any children." "That's okay too!" name those characters and...I'll leave the whole tip at lunch on Monday, if we need one)

YAY!!!!

11:37pm: weekend
Today was the start of a HOT weekend...it'll be soooooo much fun!

David called around 1:30 and basically said let's do food, so I went with him to Hogan's Hideaway in the city for dinner (really really good and uber adorable) and was a lot of fun...and yes, David, I know it's more like you rewarded me for finishing my work, but I did NOT intend to have you pay, so I thought I was rewarding myself. Well...okay it would've been you anyway since you invited me...I appreciate it A TON though because I don't know what I would've done till 5:00, and it was a lot of fun. Oh yeah...and then rehearsal actually went pretty well. 2 hours and 25 minutes...not too shabby. Only 10 minutes to cut off...:D

Anyway, tomorrow I'm supposedly doing something with my "shoppers," and if it falls through I'll be really upset cuz I miss them and I don't want to be bored. AND I plan on a latte on the way there...there goes the last of my gift certificate, but it's teh 10th punch on my coffee card so I'll get a free drink next time! :D

Saturday is amazing...rehearsal at 9, Timmy's at 2:30 (+ carnival rides and food), CATS with Allison and Mike at 7:30, and then probably out with my Into the Woodsers after that! I'm HELLA excited for that...

Sunday is James' party, dunno who's going/invited, but I need a ride, so, um...let me know?

I CAN'T WAIT FOR MONDAY! (I'll probably never say that again). Michael will be home and we're going to turn our GOV projects in (that's exciting in itself: they're done) and then go to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and then get Starbucks/when am I eating that day? Olive Garden lunch special anyone? Anyway, then rehearsal...it should be good by then, right?

This is probably the awesomest weekend all summer, and in addition to all the fun, I don't have any work to worry about! Yay! And now, to bed. :D

1:24pm: still really bored

Which Broadway Musical Are You Destined to perform in? by dangerousgame
Name/Nickname
Age
Sex
Color
Broadway Musical	Miss Saigon
Part	Lead
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12:47pm: bored

What Icons are for you?(Thank you for #1!! Please check out my other Memes!!) by ladyallie
Username
Favourite Colour
Sex	MaleFemaleYES PLEASE!UndecidedBothNeither
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
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12:01am: headaches and flattery
Well, most of you know that I had a headache all day today, as I saw you around and such. But...I'll tell you again. I had a headache all freaking day today. First, I attributed it to caffeine withdrawal, then dehydration, and when neither of these solutions fixed it...I came to the conclusion that since I did not wear my retainer last night, and my jaw has been pretty badly locked all day, I must have been grinding my teeth especially hard last night. Hmmm.

Anyway...rehearsal was a boring one for me, since I was Sleeping Beauty all night, but that suited me fine. I needed quiet. And then Friendly's...I'm so easy to flatter. That's probably why Aaron thought I was easy...or at least would be receptive...that's a long story. But really, I went so many years without any cause for compliment, that it's still a totally new and refreshing thing for me. Why am I saying all this now? Because it's happened a lot lately.

Guys I've just met have told me I'm attractive. Gay guys have informed me that they find me "attractive for a lady." People I've met, but who have only heard of my voice, not actually heard it until recently, have been impressed. And second best, behind the gay guys...Mrs. Dewey decided to embarass me at Friendly's. She used a cheesy coccoon-to-butterfly metaphor, but...I just felt so pretty and loved and...worthwhile. This, just after reading something I had written when I was depressed...and believe me, it's easy to tell that I was REALLY depressed from reading all those things I wrote. I keep finding them in my room...

Okay, now I'm babbling, but...I just feel good. Even that is still new to me...which makes it all that much more enjoyable.

I love you all. Thanks for making life beautiful.

10:46pm: APs
Well, Sunday and today weren't the hell I expected them to be...I read the 5th HP book the whole time because I needed a refresher before I can start the new one (I still haven't). And then rehearsal tonight was painful...not because it was really all that bad, but it's the most I've had to do, so my feet starting hurting in my character shoes.

And...they tried to cut most of my song, and they did shorten it, but not as much as they had tried. I understand why the other 3 that sing it wouldn't mind, but they all have larger parts/something more substantial on their off nights. I have...that song, and Sleeping Beauty (two scenes) on my off nights. So when Mrs. Dewey looked at me through her whole speech she made me feel really guilty about being that upset about it, but...it's all I have to do! And they tried to cut the interesting part! I hope she's not upset about it, but really...

Anyway, this isn't about that. It's about APs...it's good!
APUSH: 4 (yay! I expected less than/equal to 3)
English: 5 (This is what I hardly dared hope for!)

Cheers!

11:14pm: a lovely night
So I'm pretty sure all of my doubts and insecurities were just separation anxieties, so...I'm really glad I already have quasi-formed plans for the next two weekends!

In the beginning, the wedding reception promised to be boring, but Tim and I went outside and got to talk and hang out and hang all over...j/k we didn't we just talked. And stuff. In any case, it was fun, because I got to see my Timmy again, and talk, and just be close to him...which is what I need from people. He does it well. :D

But then, my bitch of a grandmother had to get pissy at me because I wasn't around so she could show me off...if she had wanted me, she could've gotten me. It's not like I was never inside...it just wasn't at the precise times when SHE wanted me, so therefore I am totally at fault. She got really "disappointed" (infuriated) that I was outside so much...I was cold! And besides that, a)I hadn't seen my boyfriend in WAY too long and b)we didn't want to dance, and they intended to make us! I hate family...so tomorrow should be hell.

But the rest of the evening, before she made me cry, was awesome...;)